How to Bite Back Tears

 

  1. Drink water with vinegar
  2. Don’t pee for a long while
  3. Convince yourself stability is a viable option
  4. Let that stew for a few minutes/hours/days (depending on how emotional you are)
  5. Be surprised, to spite yourself, when someone you love leaves
  6. Say you “understand…it’s okay.”
  7. Don’t understand
  8. Write in your journal
  9. Re-read what you wrote and feel stupid
  10. Hear/see/smell (somewhere/anywhere) that person who left
  11. Hate yourself for letting them leave
  12. Know better
  13. Repeat steps 1 – 13
  14. What are you doing? You shouldn’t be reading this. Kick rocks, kid.

 

 

Somewhere approximately one dumb kid hops over the rickets of a junkyard fence because he dared himself to tease a dog whose only lot in life is to bite strangers in the ass.

Down the street she took a bat to an affluent red car, but was benevolent enough to not dispense sugar in the gas tank or lacerate the tires.

Over yonder he shot a squirrel up with BBs instead of pellets because he wanted to chase it while it bled and act tough when it ran into the trunk of a tree to die.

After trailer carpet ate the dinner she cooked, she fought back though she’d rather get beat her.

Again you called them and felt like a dumbfuck when you knew it was the last ring and they weren’t going to pick up but you let it rollover to voicemail and it’s painful to an onlooker to hear what you have to say and why did you do this in public and pretend that everything is fine.

One more time you’ll ask for a loan from a friend because it’s a cash only bar and damnit who carries cash any more but even the credit cards are tired of your shit and you’re tired of your shit but you’re pretty sure that you’re nothing but shit and fucklessness.

Don’t you hate him so much for spending his old age drinking though you don’t know how he ended up here that self-made man?, crumbbum?, friendlydrunk? who gives the business to Trisha and Tiffany on Tuesdays and you think maybe his kids hate him and you think maybe he did something to them and you think how can I hate him and you do and you appreciate him more than anyone else you can never know.

Oh fuck off. You’re done.

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