“I want to remember all the places that I told you I loved you in my own muddled way even if you never loved me back.”
And so he built a fort only to name it “Love.”
Then the rain came and it all went to shit.
Dumb enough to build it in his own yard.
Passersby excused it as fertilizer.
And so all was exempt
But he incessantly put those moments back together:
1. They sat outside while cruel wind swirled with the hollow potential of fall.
a. He sat close enough to breathe in her sleep deprivation so that he could be tired with her so that when she said she felt tired they could lay together.
Just lay together.
But she didn’t know. So he said, “Let me rub your shoulders,” laughing, “I won’t look down your shirt.” And so she let him and that’s when death smelt like roses.
2. They sat inside a bus while clouds spit up over everything, sounding cranky.
a. He tried to stay away from her (because the feeling couldn’t possibly be mutual) so that he could get over her so that when the right person came along he could give them what they wanted from him. So he said, “I won’t be able to go out with you tonight,” looking down, “I can feel the headache coming on now.”
And she said “ok,”
and he didn’t know it would hurt him like it did.
3. She sat on the porch while he stood killing a garden snake in the ditch.
a. He offered to come over and help her get her life in order so that when he finally left (like he always said he would) he could get along without feeling like he settled so that he could fall into the illusion of happiness with someone who wanted him. So he said, “ ,” then, under his breath, “ .”
b. And she said, “I’ll miss you.”
c. And so he said, “ .” He flopped the snake carcass on the porch.
i. Neither of them saw it, but later it grew legs and scuttled away.
4. Some time later told her he wished he wouldn’t have gone anywhere because he didn’t really.
a. This transaction took place from one of the last payphones in a quiet city where no one could pronounce the name.
b. She said, “I have to go.”
c. And to where, to do what, he couldn’t know.
And so again he built a fort only to name it “Love.”
Then he hid inside it and everything went to shit.
(Note: This is me playing with formatting. The final format is much more impressive. DM me on Twitter @snufflemuggin)